childcare

Nanny Probs 04: Attacking the problem, not the person

 

Hi everyone! 

It's been a while since i've been on the blog and I am going to be making big strides in ending my random hiatuses in the new year! Today I wanted to talk about something that i've seen a lot of in the nanny community which is addressing problems that arise with your nanny family and how some things can get a bit blown out of proportion. Sometimes it can be as minor as deciding what the child should eat for lunch and other times there are bigger issues that can get blown out of proportion because of how the nanny and parents are communicating with each other. 

One of the most difficult things about being a nanny is coming in, getting to know your nanny kids and figure out a routine of what works and what doesn't only to have the parent say let's try it this way when you know it won't work. Small battles that feel major especially when it feels to be someone disrupting your work space and can be even more frustrating when parents do not want to listen to your side or compromise. When I was talking to someone wasn't a nanny and was explaining why I didn't want to do something the way a parent was asking me they, coming from a corporate office environment, asked me "But, that's their right to do as the parent right?"

The logical answer is yes.

I really don't have any right to demand or control a situation in someone else's household while placing rules over someone else's children and say 'things should be done xyz'. Even if someone asked me to help with a new sleep schedule or trying new foods and if i presented whatever I came up with if the parent were to shoot me down, that's their right. In our field of work we're in such an intimate space that it's difficult to separate your emotions from that since we're with the children all day and have tried things a variety of different ways and decided this is how you want to do things but now someone is saying 'you're wrong'. 

What I had to learn to make discussions about how to handle little situations like these was to step back and see things from the parents perspective. Why do they feel things should go this way and why do I feel the way I do and lets see if we can come up with a solution that works for everyone. I feel like a lot of conflict can come when two people refuse to see things any other way than what they think is right and can cause a lot of tension and doesn't make any progress. The same can be said for issues that arise outside of the child and only have to do in the home. Stepping back and listening to what the parent is saying, why they feel that way and what can you do to make this situation go more smoothly are great ways that I feel i've been able to move through certain situations smoothly. 

I feel that if I keep going this will turn into too much of a rambling blog post so in summary, what i'm trying to say is, taking time to assess the situation and what problem the parent is actually trying to tackle has really helped in coming up with better solutions where no one feels like they are being taken advantage of or opinions pushed aside. I feel like being in such an intimate situation does have a few perks in that you really get to understand your nanny family and their personalities and personality has a lot to do with how some people handle situations and in understanding that you can also better understand why they might be reacting the way they are or why they decided to handle a situation completely different than you would, and that's perfectly fine. 

Ok i'm done now. I will talk to you all very soon! 

 

Lauren 

 

 

5 Things I've Learned Working With Special Needs Kids

Hi everyone! Today I wanted to make a little list of things i've learned while working with special needs kids. Being in the special needs childcare field is so important to me and i’ve learned a lot about myself and what i've improved on by being in the field and thought I would share.

  1. To Stop Comparing

Working with typically developing kids and working with special needs kids I would say the biggest differentiating factor is learning that their milestones and development are happening at a different rate. This of course doesn’t alter that exciting, screaming ‘you did it’ feeling in the slightest. Why would it? I never look at what my typically developing children are doing in comparison to what my special needs kids are doing nor do I compare what one child with special needs is doing to another. There are so many different complexities in each child it’s impossible to try to keep everyone side by side on one developmental train. I’ve found it’s best to know your child, know what works best for them and push them in a way that is beneficial for them. 

2. Other Kids Ask Questions, Be Prepared

I love when were out where there’s large groups of kids like the park or a play center and kids come up to ask questions. Usually they ask questions just because they're a little unsure and want the green light to go play crazy with my kids or just want to know why. Curiosity isn't something that should be negated, especially in younger kids, and I am always reassuring parents that it’s much better to approach the child’s caregiver and ask questions versus not getting all the information and the subject of special needs becoming some sort of taboo. 

3. People Who Work With Special Needs Kids are Not Superheroes

Whenever I am talking to people about my job and future education goals working with special needs kids comes up. More often than not people will get a look of sympathy or guilt and congratulate me on wanting to go into that field. Caregivers who work with special needs kids are not doing anything that requires that type of reaction, we’re doing our job.  No, it’s not easy, but point me to an easy child to take care of. 

4. Patience and Creativity Go Hand in Hand

Some days can get rough and I have had to pull patience from out of nowhere, more than once, and that usually includes making up a game on the spot or making up a new song and dance.

5. To Look at All Sides At All Times

One annoying thing about myself is that I can never pick a side, I can’t lay things out and only see two options which is great when working in childcare and horrible when trying to find a place to eat. Working with different special needs families i’ve found two children can have the same disability, be the same age and are different developmentally and emotionally. Again like I said earlier, same for typically developing kids. By knowing everyone is wired differently, everyones processing for different situations is different it’s so hard not to see an argument or discussion and get an understanding for each individual factor and everyone’s thinking. 

I am sure as time goes on I will come back and expand on this list! Thanks for reading!


-Lauren